gave up on this because i realised i have never been to china and no one sells 畫糖人 outside the airport and this is how much i care about accuracy rn: 0
also, really stereotypical, negl. just.
They are crowded outside Beijing Capital International Airport when Kris decides to make a speech.
“Guys, we’re in China, which as you all know very well, is pretty darn big. So it’s pertinent that we stay together in case anyone gets lost,” says Kris in his Important Voice, which really makes an impression on the rest of his mates because he is so very tall. Tall people are more important.
“Erm, Kris?” says The-Other-(Much)-Shorter-Leader hesitatingly, “we’ve already lost Minseok.”
“Why do you think I’m giving this speech?”
Minseok squats by the roadside five meters away and watches an old man draw golden shapes on a copper plate. There are dragons and phoenixes and carps. The old man mumbles something to him and Minseok doesn’t know what he’s on, so he says the first two words that come to him, ”Baozi.”
The hawker rambles agitatedly in a foreign tongue and could either mean, ’Come, night, come, Romeo, come, thou day in night, for thou wilt lie upon the wings of night’, or, ‘this is candy, you gangsta, not baozis’.
Minseok smiles because he really has no idea what the fuck is going on. ”Xiexie!” he enthuses.
It works. He is handed a candy bicycle. ‘China is cool,’ thinks Minseok. He licks the bicyle. It tastes like magic.
No one notices him squatting there.
Sehun wants to go to the Forbidden City and being a local resident, Lu Han decides to take them there.
Joonmyun starts flapping his arms. “But guys, wait, wait!” He tries in vain to stop them from boarding cabs. “We need to find Minseok!”
“But Joonmyun,” Kris says, “Minseok is already lost. As the saying goes, if you don’t find lost things, lost things will always come back to you. So, are you coming with us or not?” He cocks a brow and holds the taxi door open.
Joonmyun takes two seconds to make the decision. He decides to call it. “I want sugar-coated haws,” he says while getting onto the cab.
“Get the guy some sugar-coated haws,” declares Kris.
“We’re in the cab,” Jongdae says snidely and very matter of factly.
“Later,” adds Kris in a lazy drawl.
‘Tall people are so decisive,’ envies Joonmyun.
One hour after they arrived at the Forbidden City, the leaders lost everyone. But no one cares, especially Joonmyun.
“I’ve always wanted to screw them leader duties,” Joonmyun confesses to Kris as he licks his stick of sugar-coated haws.
“You’re pretty, Joonmyun,” Kris smiles and says, “yeah, for a leader, you’re pretty short.”
“Guys, we have no RMB left,” Chanyeol says after they lost every cent to a crook they met right after they got out of the cab.
Baekhyun hands Zitao a pole. “Go busk,” he orders.
So when Kris and Joonmyun bump into them (they weren’t looking), they see Zitao showing off his wushu moves in front of a big crowd.
“Is that,” Joonmyun rubs his eyes, “is that a monkey?”
Sure enough, there’s a monkey going around picking up the coins that the crowd is throwing on the ground for Zitao’s performance.
“Where did you guys get that monkey?” asks Kris.
“That's Molly and dude, we’re in China,” Chanyeol says and Kris nods because that clearly explains everything, of course.
“What’s Jongin doing?” asks Joonmyun when he spies Jongin standing in the middle of the square.
“Oh, he’s busking too.”
“No,” Kris refutes, “he’s just standing there half naked and-” But as they watch, a middle-aged woman throws a coin at Jongin and wolf-whistles as she walks by. “Yeah, he’s busking.” Chanyeol is just glad that Kris finally understands.
“Hey,” Baekhyun suddenly says, “is that Minseok?” He points to a cart not too far off from where they stand.
“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol rolls his eyes, “Why the hell would Minseok be selling bootleg CDs in Beijing. Can we please.”
“Lin Junjie~ Lin Junjie~” Minseok cries out as he fans himself with a flyer someone pushed into his hand and gestures at the passing crowd to take a look at his wares. CD sales are really declining, he notes, now that MP3s are all the rage. He should really reconsider his next career move. Open a xiaolongbao shop and use his own face as the mascot. Lu Han would really like that, he thinks. Lu Han would like that too much, he believes.
sorry to have wasted your time~